I am a big believer of not only learning from one’s own mistakes but also from others. Therefore, I turn to any resource that will help me in my quest to become a better friend, daughter, girlfriend and soon to be wife. And what better way to equip oneself than with lessons and wisdom from our fellow woman (and men) in arms. Grab a cup of your favorite beverage, because this is going to be a long post.
When Wiehann and I got engaged my mom gave us a book called “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. I am still reading the book but I found the book really insightful.
Some of the things Eggerichs says immediately made sense when I read it. For example, how men actually crave more respect from their wives than they do love. When I told Wiehann about this new-found information, he confirmed it by saying “love and respect are almost the same things for us”. Wiehann is a man of few words, but with this book, I learned a bit more of what the man desires from his wife on a daily basis. Even though I am only halfway through the book I will recommend it for all couples!
Another place that I will often visit for relationship advice is Jolene Engle’s blog. I love her pod casts and blog posts for ‘leading women and wives closer to Christ’. She has touched on every marital topic that is important. My favorite blog posts include:
Proverbs for couples: how to resolve conflict in marriage
One Sure Fire Way to Connect with Your Husband
Keeping Unity in Your Marriage When the In-Laws Have Caused Division
What’s a Wife to Do When Her Husband Blames Her for All Their Problems?
She even has a great service called Christian Wife University. This service is an online discipleship and mentoring community for Christian wives. This will be a great investment for a lady who is a newlywed who wants some guidance in her new role, or a lady who has been married for a while and want some advice. Jolene is based in the USA but $44 USD is not too much for over 50 videos that cover almost all the topics under the sun! I have been contemplating joining this community for a while, but have not made the jump just yet.
It will be worth your while to subscribe to her newsletter to keep you in the loop of new content that is available.
My sister gave me a series of Mark Gungor called Laugh your way to a better Marriage (it is available in book form). I loved these videos because Mark explains the difference between women and men in such a fun way. He also gets to the point and calls a spade a spade, which I like. Wiehann and I watched the show together, and he loved it.
In this show, he talked about the Flag Page system that he helped develop. I am not going to go into a lot of detail how it works but essentially The Flag Page is a series of questions that you answer in order to see what makes you, as an individual, thrive on a daily basis.
Wiehann suggested that we take it in order to understand each other better (I was totally flabbergasted when he suggested it because I really didn’t expect he would want to do such a survey). You have to pay a fee to do this, when we did our flag page I think it was R150 per person, but it is totally worth it. When you complete the survey you get a pdf that explains how you are put together and what makes you tick. I loved my results because it reflected explained who I am to a T!
Here are some of the results that I got.
With these results in mind and a reference that we can go back to, we know now how to speak (or try to speak) each other’s language.
The 5 love languages will also be worth your time. I have not read the book yet but I did take an assessment online to figure out what my love language is. The 5 love languages consist of the following categories:
(pictures from the 5 love languages website)
Every one of us has all of these languages, but not all of us value each one the same. Some people thrive on acts of service while others want to receive gifts. Each of us is unique, and thus it is important to know your own love language and the language of your husband or wife. I had the highest score is in the category ‘quality time’. If you like you can take your love language assessment here. The book is available at many bookstores including Takealot.com and Cum Books.
Here is a summary of the resources that I discussed the post:
Love and Respect
Jolene Engle’s blog
Laugh your way to a better Marriage
Flag Page system
The 5 love languages
Thank you for sharing your cup of coffee with me today. I want to enlist your help in adding new resources to this blog post! Leave your resource in the comment section!
Till our next coffee