Category: Wedding

Resources for going from Miss to Mrs

a list of resources that will help a lady from going from miss to mrs

I am a big believer of not only learning from one’s own mistakes but also from others. Therefore, I turn to any resource that will help me in my quest to become a better friend, daughter, girlfriend and soon to be wife. And what better way to equip oneself than with lessons and wisdom from our fellow woman (and men) in arms. Grab a cup of your favorite beverage, because this is going to be a long post.

When Wiehann and I got engaged my mom gave us a book called “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. I am still reading the book but I found the book really insightful.

Some of the things Eggerichs says immediately made sense when I read it. For example, how men actually crave more respect from their wives than they do love. When I told Wiehann about this new-found information, he confirmed it by saying “love and respect are almost the same things for us”. Wiehann is a man of few words, but with this book, I learned a bit more of what the man desires from his wife on a daily basis. Even though I am only halfway through the book I will recommend it for all couples!

Another place that I will often visit for relationship advice is Jolene Engle’s blog. I love her pod casts and blog posts for ‘leading women and wives closer to Christ’. She has touched on every marital topic that is important.  My favorite blog posts include:

Proverbs for couples: how to resolve conflict in marriage

One Sure Fire Way to Connect with Your Husband

Keeping Unity in Your Marriage When the In-Laws Have Caused Division

What’s a Wife to Do When Her Husband Blames Her for All Their Problems?

She even has a great service called Christian Wife University. This service is an online discipleship and mentoring community for Christian wives. This will be a great investment for a lady who is a newlywed who wants some guidance in her new role, or a lady who has been married for a while and want some advice. Jolene is based in the USA but $44 USD is not too much for over 50 videos that cover almost all the topics under the sun! I have been contemplating joining this community for a while, but have not made the jump just yet.

It will be worth your while to subscribe to her newsletter to keep you in the loop of new content that is available.

My sister gave me a series of Mark Gungor called Laugh your way to a better Marriage (it is available in book form). I loved these videos because Mark explains the difference between women and men in such a fun way. He also gets to the point and calls a spade a spade, which I like. Wiehann and I watched the show together, and he loved it.

In this show, he talked about the Flag Page system that he helped develop. I am not going to go into a lot of detail how it works but essentially The Flag Page is a series of questions that you answer in order to see what makes you, as an individual, thrive on a daily basis.

Wiehann suggested that we take it in order to understand each other better (I was totally flabbergasted when he suggested it because I really didn’t expect he would want to do such a survey). You have to pay a fee to do this, when we did our flag page I think it was R150 per person, but it is totally worth it. When you complete the survey you get a pdf that explains how you are put together and what makes you tick. I loved my results because it reflected explained who I am to a T!

Here are some of the results that I got.

flag page resultsflag page results

With these results in mind and a reference that we can go back to, we know now how to speak (or try to speak) each other’s language.

The 5 love languages will also be worth your time. I have not read the book yet but I did take an assessment online to figure out what my love language is. The 5 love languages consist of the following categories:

love language words of affirmationlove language acts of servicelove language receiving giftslove language quality timelove language physical touch

(pictures from the 5 love languages website)

Every one of us has all of these languages, but not all of us value each one the same. Some people thrive on acts of service while others want to receive gifts. Each of us is unique, and thus it is important to know your own love language and the language of your husband or wife. I had the highest score is in the category ‘quality time’. If you like you can take your love language assessment here. The book is available at many bookstores including Takealot.com and Cum Books.

Here is a summary of the resources that I discussed the post:
Love and Respect 
Jolene Engle’s blog
Laugh your way to a better Marriage
Flag Page system
The 5 love languages

Thank you for sharing your cup of coffee with me today. I want to enlist your help in adding new resources to this blog post! Leave your resource in the comment section!

Till our next coffee

Luv

Nadine

Wedding – Update on our Journey

Wedding journey | free budget worksheets!

 

Hi there friend, it is about time that I update you on the wedding planning progress. Well, it doesn’t really feel like there is much progress at all at this point, but there is some.

Let me quickly vent about how ridiculously expensive everything is!!! I knew that planning a wedding would be expensive, but not this expensive!! I just hope our budget will cover everything at the end. (Maybe I should do a post about how much everything cost us when the wedding is over. Mmmm…)

The previous post was about our color theme; if you want to catch up on that you can read about it here.

Here are the things that we booked so far:

The church and the pastor;

The venue; and

The photographer;

I went to see two florists. Man, I was shocked about how much it cost for the flowers alone. I wanted to have those rectangular wooden boxes filled with flowers and greenery, more greenery than flowers, but still, I wanted it to feel luxurious. But the price changed my mind. So, I am changing my ideas again to fit the budget, a very tight budget might I add. The conclusion I came to about the flowers was this: bigger vase = more flowers = more money. Eish… so smaller arrangements it is!

Our photographer is very affordable and we worked with her before and we were really pleased with the way the photos came out. I also looked at her portfolio for weddings that she photographed before and the photos were stunning!

We booked the Queens Hotel’s restaurant, The Colony, as our venue. The restaurant had a renovation in the past month, and the end result was disappointing to me. They exchanged the warm traditional look for a cool modern one. In my opinion, they kind of ruined the feel of what the hotel is known for. The new colors are tones of grey, which messes with my color scheme! They also changed out the wooden chairs for grey upholstered chairs. When I saw the new chairs I immediately asked if they still have the old ones, luckily, they still do. And they agreed that we can use the old chairs for the wedding. Phew, one thing that makes it a bit better.

You might ask why I do not want to change the venue as the wedding date is still a long way off.  The answer is simple. The budget. They charge us nothing to rent the restaurant for the wedding, we just pay for the food and the champagne. That is a big win in my book! I think that you will not really notice if the wedding color scheme clashes with the rest of the restaurant when the lights are dimmed and the tables are beautifully decorated! And guests don’t really remember the color scheme and the decorations a few months later.

We will be spending our first night as husband and wife in the hotel as well. Which is great, because then we don’t have to go anywhere when we are tired from all the dancing! I plan to close the place down with dancing! The hotel gave us a nice discount on our stay and also a bit of a discount for our guests.

Everyone tells you that planning a wedding is stressful, but you don’t know how stressful until you are planning one. I think the most stressful thing about planning the wedding is fitting everything that you will need within the budget and still get everything you’ve dreamed off.

The past two months of actively wedding planning I learned that you have to be flexible. You probably won’t find everything you see on Pinterest, and you have to be okay with that. You will have to be creative and find ways to make your dream wedding a reality.

I think because I mentioned the budget so much, it is only fitting for me to give you a free printable that is wedding budget-related.😊 What do you think?

Wedding budget planner |  Trou begroting Werkkaart

(PS – if you find a grammar or spelling mistake in the printable, please let me know and I will fix it, I didn’t really excel in language subjects in school!)

Till our next coffee

Nadine

Previous Post in this Series:

Our Engagement

Wedding Journey

Wedding Journey – how I plan to stay sane

Wedding Journey – All about That Color

Wedding Journey – An update  You are here

 

All about that colour

I always thought that I would have a spring wedding with soft pastel colours. But that changed since Wiehann and I started to discuss colour schemes. He quickly put an end to my pastel dream. There wasn’t even a way to persuade him. When I asked him why, his answer was: “the colours are dead”. My reaction: “WHAT?!” and then we had to choose the date… another nail in my pastel dream, because spring was out, and so was summer… I can almost feel your frown through my computer screen at the moment, but don’t worry, mine was also almost carved into my forehead.

The reasons why these seasons was crossed off the list, was simple. Summer in Oudtshoorn is extremely hot. Some days reaching 40˚C. So that was a no no in both our books. No melting make-up and no sweaty armpits on the wedding photos!!! Spring time is also problematic because of my allergies. So that left autumn and winter. And to make a long story short – we decided on May, because we started to date in May, and May 2018 we will be together for 10 years – so some sentimental value was a big push for that specific date.

But after that discussion, and a bit of disappointment, I had to change my vision. Which is not always a bad thing. After all the day is not all about the bride (even if you want it to be 😊). So I started pinteresting my way through alternative colour schemes.

Who thought that there were so many options available. Pinks, purples, reds, blues etc etc…. after a while I realized that I have to narrow down my search, because I didn’t find anything that I liked! I mean I liked a lot of them, but not like-like you know?

Lightbulb! I started to search for autumn and winter weddings. And I swooned… OH MY WORD!!! Winter and autumn weddings are beautiful! All those rich dark colours that were available just made me so excited!

After another long scrolling through pinterest, and showing Wiehann a few ideas, we decided on:

 

These colors just make me so happy! They are warm, inviting and cozy for an autumn. I have so many ideas it feels like my head wants to short out sometimes! Here are a few images that I’ve found that are my source of inspiration…

I love how they combined the rustic with the elegant! Show you that everything can match if you just put the right things together! To see more of the pictures that I’ve collected for inspiration you can follow my Pinterest wedding board

If you want to read the other posts in this series you can find them here:

Let me know what you think and maybe share some ideas with me.

Talk soon!

Luv

Nadine

Our Wedding Journey – how I plan to stay sane

I am a sucker for cute printables and organized systems, and not to toot my own horn, but I am quite an organized person. I love making lists, and I get all giddy when I see my to-do list getting shorter and shorter. Now, staying organized while planning a wedding, I think, is crucial. In this post, I will share with you how I plan to stay organized and keep on top of all the arrangements.

I’ve researched a lot of wedding planning tips and ideas and the wedding binder sounded like the best option. And Tada!!!

My wedding binder was born. In this binder, you will find that I’ve put together all the things I think I would need to stay organized. Let me show you how the planner looks. May I add, I am very proud how it turned out. (please note that all the pages in the binder are in Afrikaans, my home language)

I’ve made the material cover myself. One of my first sewing projects I’ve done with my sewing machine.

When you open the binder, you will find and index. The index gives a summary of the things that is included in the binder. After the index, you will find checklists of things that have to be done for every category. I’ve compiled these lists after researching and reading through a lot of blogs and wedding books and I hope that I have included the most important things for a wedding to run smoothly.

The dividers I’ve made with card stock and some beautiful scrapbooking paper that was on sale at PNA.

After the index and the checklists, you will find the different categories.  Let me break it down for you:

Budget and monthly timeline

This, I would think, is self-explanatory.

Ceremony

Here I will have the contact details of the pastor, and the church. (we are planning on asking a pastor that we know, but we want to use another church for the ceremony)  I will also include any notes on what kind of décor I want at the church and more important what Wiehann and I want the pastor to talk about at the wedding.

Reception

Here you will find contact details of the place where the reception will be. A list of the music that we want to play, a worksheet of the things that we want to hire for the reception. I will also include pictures of décor ideas and activities for the guests to keep themselves busy while we take some photos. I will also include the contract of the venue here.

Caterer and wedding cake

Here you will find the menu and also the baker’s contact details and pictures of wedding cakes for inspiration. After we select a baker, I will put the contract here as well.

Florist

Florist’s contact details and the contact we will sign with them. I want to include pictures here to explain to the florist what I want and ask him or her if they will be able to do achieve it and give me advice for an alternative flower that I can use if the ones that I want are not available.

Videographer and photographer

Again, contact details and contracts. This category also includes a list of photos and moments I want the photographer and the videographer to capture of our special day.

Bride and groom

Here I include pictures of what I want my wedding dress to look like and ideas for the groom aswell. There is also a checklist of all the attire related items that we need to buy or rent.

Bridal party

I am going to ask our bridal party to buy their own clothes. But here I will keep track of who has what and the gifts I am going to buy for them.

Guests and stationary

Here I will put the final guest list with their contact details and keep track if they have RSVP’d.

I’ve found this cute little notebook on sale at Typo’s and I keep this one in my handbag for random thoughts and notes that might pop into my head. I plan on taking the binder with me to appointments only.

Pens and a calculator will accompany the binder most of the time.

At this stage, I am not sure how much this binder cost me because I’ve had most of the materials already. I’ve created the pages in word and printed it off my home printer.

Phew!!! Information overload I think. I would love to hear what you think of this binder. Would you mind answering a question for me in the comment section below? I would like to know if you would rather buy a binder that is ready made or make one yourself?

Thank you for stopping by and sharing a cup of coffee with me.

Talk soon!!

Nadine

Our Wedding Journey

Now that we are engaged and we have set a date to get married, I am getting really excited!!! We decided on the 12th of May 2018. So now the wedding planning can start in full swing as the date is a year away.

Let me tell you, I’ve been planning this wedding for a long time, for almost two years to be precise. So, you can just imagine how thrilled I am to get my ideas out of my head and finally into something I can see and touch. My taste has changed considerably the last few years, but I like the end picture that I am seeing for the wedding.

Words that I would describe the wedding I want to have at the end of the day would be: elegant; romantic with a touch of royalty… MMM… maybe that sounds too cliché, but at this stage, I do not care, that is what I want (and luckily, Wiehann has not opposed to any of my ideas yet! Phew!!!).

I’ve decided that I want to start my wedding journey here on the blog. A wedding what? Well, I am glad you asked.

Our wedding journey will be about my planning (and things I do to keep myself organized and sane), my DIY efforts to save money and everything I want to do to make our dream a reality.  There will be a new post every two weeks on the blog that I will share my progress and maybe a few tutorials that I’ve followed to create some décor pieces.  We will see how it goes.

I am really excited to share this with all of you and hope to give any future brides some tips (and maybe sound advice) and ideas as the planning progress.

The next two posts will be:

The Color Scheme
How I plan to stay Organized and Sane

Talk soon!

Luv
Nadine

Moving back home…

Wiehann and I got engaged in December and now I can finally start planning the wedding I was dreaming about for the last few years. But with the excitement of the engagement also came the big question: where on earth are we going to find the money to get married?! (heart palpitations)

The topic of saving money for our wedding was constantly on my mind after we started ring shopping in June 2016. I tried to think of creative ideas to save a lot of money in a short amount of time. But nothing I came up with was going to save a lot of money… not what you will need for a wedding in any case.

One day my mom suggested that I move back home with her to save money. My first instinct: Hell would freeze over before I do that!! You see, for the last five years, I have been living on my own. I am used to doing my own thing. Plus, I am somewhat of a loner. I like my own company, and thus moving back home felt like I will be giving up a lot. I always thought that the next place I moved in will be with my husband.

But ultimately saving money for my our dream wedding started to weigh more than quality alone time. So I prayed a lot on the subject. And when I made the decision everything just fell into place.

I work from home, and when I discussed it with my boss, he agreed that I can still work for him while I live at home, we communicate through email most of the time. We agreed that we would see each other when necessary to discuss work and the rest of the time we would continue to communicate through email.  Soon after this discussion, someone found me through contacts for my apartment. So in a matter of two weeks, everything was sorted. I moved out on the 31st of December 2016.

The biggest reason that motivated me to move back home was that I didn’t want us to go into debt for our wedding. I don’t see the point of having to pay back money for years after the wedding. If you think about it, it is just one marvelous day, where you declare your love and life to your significant other, and in a few hours after that, it is over.

It is horrible to admit, but you actually decorate the venue for yourself. The guests are there because of the free food and dancing (and the open bar if you have one). You go through the process of sourcing the perfect décor, flowers and music for the venue and the ceremony, and guests will not even remember how the venue looked in a year or so – that is sad!!!

But that being said, every girl dreams of her wedding day from the day she started playing dress up. And we deserve it. Every girl wants to be treated like royalty and feel like royalty on this day, and again – you deserve it. It will probably be the only day that will give you the opportunity to look like the princess or the queen that you are.

So yes, I am going all out where the budget allows. I am going to have the décor that I want. Even if I have to make a few pieces myself. I am actually looking forward to making things for the wedding. And thankfully, Wiehann and I are both crafty and handy respectively. So I can see a lot of DIY’ing for the wedding.

If you are engaged or recently married I would love to hear your money saving tips and tricks and the type of décor you had or planning on having!

Luv
Nadine

Our Engagement

We are engaged!!! We’ve been together a long time (8 years), so I am thrilled that this mile stone has finally come.

I must say that I’ve become anxious over the whole thing in June 2016, because I thought this was not a important for Wiehann. But when we were in Cape Town for a quick holiday and he brought up the subject of searching for a ring and getting brochures from different jewelry stores to find something I like, I was over the moon.

I always known that I wanted something plain and simple, because my hand is small. My ring size is a “L” (or 5.5) so something with a lot of detail will not do.  And the new trend of rose gold was just up my alley. I liked that it was different from the traditional gold or white gold. So I told Wiehann what I liked and he got the ring made through American Swiss when they had a huge diamond sale in August.

So I waited, and waited, and waited….  and patience isn’t even one of my biggest qualities… urgh.  Even when he got the ring in September, he never showed it to me. And I knew he had the ring!! To say it was torture is an understatement.

The end of September he asked Mom for my hand….

December rolled in, that’s when he asked Dad (before he asked me that same day).

We agreed that he would visit me in December, because the last few times I visited him. I secretly hoped it would happen the weekend when he visited, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up, because I the disappointment would have been terrible.

Friday, the second of December, he surprised me by taking the day of from work and drove very early from Montagu to Plettenberg Bay. He didn’t tell me that he was tanking the day off so I was only expected him late that evening.

After I drank some tea and we chatted about work, he said he wanted to go to Keurboom Strand’s beach for the day. So I finished some of my work and we headed out to the beach. When we got there he opened up the car’s boot and he packed a cute picnic basket with snacks. That’s when I started to suspect something was up…

We walked to Arch Rock (which is quite a walk, might I add – and the wind messed with my hair, that’s why it is so flat L) and this is where he asked for my hand J. I am so happy and excited for our future and our upcoming wedding. We have not set a date yet.

Arch Rock – Keurboomstrand
He ‘put a ring on it’
High school sweet hearts

Mom wanted to know what he packed in the basket, so here is was included for those of you who are also curious:

  • Sparkling wine (Blush from Four Cousins)
  • Champagne flutes (which he bought that morning)
  • Varity of biscuits
  • Cheese and cold meat
  • Spring onion and chives flavored cream cheese
  • Cocktail tomatoes
  • Strawberries (my favorite, I ate them all, because Wiehann is not a fan)
  • And chocolate
  • The two plates, knife and forks he got from my kitchen when I was getting my stuff and changing clothes in the bedroom – sneaky hey?
Snacks : yum yum

It was super romantic and I couldn’t have asked for a better location. O, I forgot to mention that I also received red roses…

Stay tuned for wedding planning brainstorming, planning etc…

Luv

Nadine